PATH

I don't know what path actually now I am walking on. But I hope the biggest one it will show me the right way and put me at beautiful place I used to be. Now, I am not really passionately about my college session. Perhaps because it's not fit with my dream before. However life goes on. So what

I am just do it like flowing water. No passion, no struggles, no emotion. Just do it so I can face tomorrow like today. Omg I get confused with my own words. Sorry. I am now studying in Faculty of Biology despite of studying in my planned faculty. And I am in the middle way to love Biology and move on from my dream faculty. I know, there's nothing happen without reason. But, you should know how it feels when something not fit with your plan. And it just messed you up. Well, it happens to me. But I am trying so hardly to not to be like this but why not if I just write all the things I can't do in the real life. Ha ha ha.
 

Someone told me "if you said that doctor is an angel, then Biologists is the God" you know it means all the things that doctor study are biology lesson. And we are biologist. Ah, you should understand. Well, with his words, firstly I am so happy that I am in biology now. But as long as the lesson begin, it become so useless. And after this, about one month college period, the more I feel so wrong being placed right here. I am lost, and I have no way out, even just a map.
 

I do really want to try the next year test so, repeat and repeat again till I get what I want. But I know the best my family couldn't handle it, and I have made a promise to my mom that I can face whatever I've got this year. Woaaaah.
 

I am jealous with anyone who can try the test for next year, try to keep reaching their dream despite to just try to accept all the destination. Hahaha.
 

Okay, this only -unworthiness- text I want to end it well. But maybe it gonna continue to the next my writing.

Rasanya aku ingin berlari
Berlari jauh, jauh sekali
Berlari kencang, kencang sekali

Rasanya aku ingin berteriak
Berteriak keras, keras sekali
Berteriak hingga tak ada satupun yang tersisa lagi

Rasanya aku ingin menangis
Menangis lama, lama sekali
Menangis dari malam hingga malam datang lagi

Rasanya aku ingin melakukan semuanya
Hingga semua terasa hilang tak tersisa
Hingga aku pun bisa merasakan apa yang ingin aku rasakan

Dream. one word that perhaps everyone can create it the biggest way. make it the highest one. not afraid to fall. believe whenever you fall from your dream, God will always catch your dream. or at least your dream will fall into the beautiful star.

When is the time I forget to dream? When is the time I forget to hope? I cant dream or hope anymore. I dont know why. now I am just to afraid to create my dream. I am afraid to create big expectation. in my mind, I just want to live realistic. never hurts, never fall. I just want to live peacefully.

but, I know it's wrong. everyone have to have at least one BIG dream. that's why people life. every successful people have the dreams instead their career, their life. everyone who has the BIG dream never afraid of falling, hurting. I know thats the way for being successful.

I am shy of my life which doesnt have any dream anymore. My friends, all my friends. they have their SUPER BIG DREAM. They dont have any fear to face their dream. they don afraid to fall. not like me.

everyone who ask my life's goal always has this answer "I just live for being the best person. with helping each other as much as I can. thats why I want to be a doctor". be a doctor? can I? thats maybe too impossible for me? that annoying words. again.

dude! I wish you can help me out of this problem.

find the way I can dream peacefully. dream fearlessly. dream happily.